i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
