I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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