how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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