i jhust puked up my retainher.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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