the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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