I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry about my life...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
