to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
