Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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