Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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