I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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