well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
