69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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