Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
