i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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