We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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