It's Friday. Sex?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Mom said you looked used
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT