i think my mom watched the whole time
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.