Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.