I think I won the penis lottery.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.