Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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