ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize