so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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