we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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