so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
