O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
