He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
