jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
