Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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