just tell him i said nine months
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize