So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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