1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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