I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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