I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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