I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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