great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it's like iHOP with fire
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
