I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
