Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
someone owes me an orgasm
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
