Little spoons don't ask big questions
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
