big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
