Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All the doctor said was why
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
