Everything about him screamed your future.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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