FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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