I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
