maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize