When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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