this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
