How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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