if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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