Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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