So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
