you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
