I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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