guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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