it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
