Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
