Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
