everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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