Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
