The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize