they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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