What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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